| [ revenge of the nerds ] |
[20 Jan 2004|11:50pm] |
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mood |
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 RETARDED |
] |
AWESOME MOVIE BTW.
oh. and there were these STUPID AS HELL girls outside the school today after school while I was waiting for my mom to pick me up. GOD. they were singing britney spears songs really loud hoping that it would annoy me for some reason, and then tried to sing some system of a down and this girl was all jibbering like "WAKE UP BLAHERER WAKE UP! SERJSEJKN MAKE UP!" and i wanted to be like..SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH GO AWAY!!!!!1111
ARGHSERSER...
AND THEN they all collected and stared at the sky and one of them goes "THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A VIBRATOR!"
"PENIS!!!!"
"IT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS TEE HEE!"
what the fucking fuckity fuck fuck. how can i be surrounded by these people every day?
and then they started talking shit about linden and how nerdy and stupid he was and i swear i couldve died cause linden is teh shitz, okay? who else am i gonna vent to about logs, neitzche, alice in wonderland, and the cuteness of kobolds to?!!?! WHO ELSE IS GOING TO TRY AND TALK ME OUT OF BEING A DUMB MOODY BITCH WHO conspires her own death?! NOBODY! WHACK. TOTAL WHACKOCITY MY FRIEND.
RANT RANT RANT.
AND IF DANIEL DOESNT CALL ME THIS SATURDAY HE'S GETTING A POKE STRAIGHT IN THE EYE!!!!!!111
<3<#<3 YAH I STILL LOVE TALKING TO THAT BOY. SO AWESOME. ;; sob.
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| [ Hey, buddy. ] |
[10 Jul 2003|09:41pm] |
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[ comment for access and maybe i'll add you, buddy. ]
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| [ time warp ] |
[01 Jul 2003|07:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Nostialgic to the MAX. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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shutUP. |
] |
HOLY SHIZNITZERS. Daniel, remember when I used to RP those wolves on the AOL message boards? That was crazy...YECH. I haven't RP'ed in SOOO long..and now everyone just does crazy scary kinky sex SL's...god. It's frightening. I found this in the bowels of my old computer. There was a whole folder of texts and things I saved and I moved them over here. But I never really bothered to read through them until now...DEAR. LORD. People always made me Log the RP so..I have a lot of old crap. I USED TO RP POKEMON. ARRRRR!!!! sejrnklsenrer. But that's okay, I used to RP The Lion King too. THAT WAS THE BEST, MOTHERFUCKERS. You best be representin'.
Yeah. I don't even remember who Hypnotic Crave is anymore..and those people changed their S/n's like every other week so I'm sure I'll never find out. This is from the Wolves of the August Umbra pack. Weee.
BTW..if you are even gonna read this whole thing, I'm playing Benten. It's REALLY bad. I suck.
Sleepi Spike: [ ::wavies:: heddo. ]
Hypnotic Crave: []heya![]
Sleepi Spike: [ 'sup..? You busy? ]
Hypnotic Crave: [] nah playin' a game.. w'cha doin []
Sleepi Spike: [ Nuffin'...I's bored. ;-; Jus' wondering iffen you wanna IM RP wif Scath an' Benten ]
Hypnotic Crave: [] sure sure []
Hypnotic Crave: []who starts? []
Sleepi Spike: [ me, brb..x.x; ]
Hypnotic Crave: [] k []
Sleepi Spike: [ ::continues from boards:: ]
_______________________________________________
begin log -- in character
_______________________________________________
Benten: 'So what's that have to say?' Oh, damn it, Benten, you're supposed to be ignoring him! She lectured herself as the blue-grey femme turned around and slowly chased after him. Her voice was low and quiet, she hated having to apologize. But she knew it was her fault, which made her feel worse. She was definitely being stupid. "A-alright...Um, Scath...Don't go, please...I'm..sor..." This is a lot harder than I thought, She muttered in her mind.
Scath: He turned to her.. stopping. Emerald hues locked on the femme. Was she that blind to friendship!? He snorted, obviously she was, ``What was what supposed to mean? The truth? Not used to hearing are you.`` Sooo he was blunt.. and snippy.. big deal..
Benten: Grumbling a bit she looked away, couldn't look into his face. " I'm trying here, okay? Obviously I don't do this often. You're right, I know it, you know it. I do need to change my attitude, maybe it does scare others away. I'm not used to being around anyone else and mayyybe I push them away on purpose, I don't know!" She was really confusing herself now, totally oblivious that he was becoming upset with her too.
Scath: ``Well why the heck would you do that on purpose? Do you -like- being lonely?`` So he wasn't helping the situation either.. but hey, what did she expect from him.. open arms?
Benten : That question didn't take much thought. "Of course I don't like being lonely. But I try to make friends and they either just get tired of me, or I must be friggen invisible, 'cause I end up being ignored. So, why try anymore? I don't know. I want friends. No one wants me." She's answering her own questions. She knows whats wrong with her. Benten the Moron, behold her great power of stupidity! Ugh.
Scath : He snorted slightly.. settling down onto his hind quarters, ``Ever think about why they wouldn't want you around?!`
Benten : She still wasn't looking at him, and her neck was really starting to get sore, facing this way..."No, I'd rather not analyze. They don't want me around, fine. The only reason I joined this pack was because I thought I'd get around to turning over a new leaf and making some new acquaintances. Why did you join?" She really needed a change of subject.
Scath : He paused... why did he join. Why -did- he join. Scath.. well.. swallowed... and thought. Could he tell her? Should he tell her. -NO-. ``Same reason as you... to.. turn over a new leaf.``
Benten : Well, now...Benten picked up on that bit of hesitation, and then the more she thought about it, she didn't really know a thing about him except for his name, and even then she could barely remember it at first...finally, she turned her head to face him again, agh, her neck was -really- sore now...but anyway, all she could do for it was tilt her head with curiosity, and to get rid of the crick in her neck.."..Is that so..?"
Scath : ``Of... course..`` He wondered if she could tell his hesitance in that baritone like tremble he had. He hoped not.. ears flicked slightly.. he watched her.
Benten : Raising a wolf-ish brow she was becoming curious now..."Turn over a new leaf from what? What was your life like before you joined the August Umbra, hm?" Hey, at least she was trying to get to know him now, even though she didn't realize this would be a sensitive subject...but why would she know?
Scath : he hesitated really he did. Lightly swallowed.. he whined.. softly, not allowing her to hear him.. ``My life before the.. Umbra... kinda hard to say.. really...`` Bad attempt to avoid the question.
Benten : "Oh , how so? I'm an expert on things that are hard to say, since I can barely talk and make sense and the same time. Just tell me, I'll get it." She offered a reassuring smile. Besides, if it was something really big, how would she know? She didn't even know the pack was practically at war.
Scath : He gulped.. and whined.. figdetting slightly.. ``It's something.. well.. not great.. and...`` You can't hide it forever Scath..
Benten : Why was he so nervous if it wasn't something great...? She nudged him a bit with her muzzle, which was really a big deal for her, she wasn't much into contact, touching and all that..."C'mon, Tell me, if it's not great you should be able to tell me then 'cause it's no big deal, right?"
Scath : There wasn't any use hiding it anymore.. it was bound to come out sooner or later.. why not be now, rather than someone else? And he could trust her-- ``If I tell you.. you have to promise NEVER to mention to anyone!`` right..?
Benten : Chuckling a bit at his words...So this was Mr. Tough Guy. Well, she nodded, a little happy that he felt he could trust her seeing as how they were practically strangers. "Of course I won't mention it to anyone else...who am I going to tell? I don't know anyone, remember?" But after a moment she became serious...this was starting to sound like it was going to be a bid deal after all.
Scath : He froze for a moment.. taking her jokes to heart.. and paused.. sighing.. ears pressed back.. his voice was soft, low.. sincere- ``The wolf that caused the war.. Ardent Furor.. he's my brother. The group he travels with, the one the Umbra are about to do battle with.. is his pack.. my pack. The yearling he killed- the one that femme was friends with- I helped him kill...`` He paused.. not even looking up at her, ``I'm hiding.. I know Ardent killed that Night guy... and I know that if the Harlotry, his pack, find out I'm alive.. they'll kill me. I'm hiding. I have to.``
Benten : Icy hues widened that this. Okay, now this was a big deal.. She didn't want to seem like a traitor by hiding this guy, but he was running away from the other side right? So. He's reformed and a good guy, one of us? The femme suddenly was speechless and was calculating how she should take this kind of information. Such a figure of low rank wouldn't normally hear of such things. NO wait. He's one of the -good guys- Benten, you aren't doing anything wrong..."..S-so I'm the only who knows about this, right?....interesting. But wait. You said 'your pack.' They can't really be your pack anymore if they're trying to kill you, right?"
Scath : ``Of course not.. but under Chicane's word.. he's the new alpha.. once a member, always a member.. unless you die by their doing.`` He sighed.. laying to his belly and whined.. head soflty rested against his paws, ``I'm as good as dead either way.``
Benten : Her head bent low to meet his eyes, no longer afraid to look at him. "Well, you know what? I think that really stinks! Hey, what do you mean by 'I'm as good as dead either way..' " Here she was mocking his voice as she quoted him, she didn't like the thought of her only potential friend here to be soon dead meat. "Benten Dymas will protect you from those guys! You don't got anything to worry about, trust me!" She was just being nice, she had no confidence under that big voice...but they were good intentions.
Scath : He smirked for a moment.. amused by her intelligence and her wit, but that smirk faded into the expressionless visage.. the frown.. ``When others find out that my brother killed that Night guy.. they'll drive me out.. when Chicane finds me here.. he'll kill me.``
Benten : Impossible. She couldn't let this happen to him. She won't let it. "..But...what if you just explain yourself? Tell the Alpha what's going on, you've left the other pack, you're not a bad guy!! This is a safe place, besides I'm sure it wouldn't hurt, we'll be gaining another guy for our side! Besides, that Chicane guy will have to get through me first before anyone lays a paw on you. So you know you got nothing to worry about!" Hey for all that talk, and never really experienced with trying to cheer anyone up, she hoped she was doing a good job of it.
Scath : He grinned for the moment.. maybe he could tell the Alpha.. what was his name.. Storme? About the incidents.. but the Alpha did drive his brother out of the pack.. he sighed.. what if he couldn't. A huff then.. ``Maybe..``
Benten : Another cant of her slender femme skull...her eyes swirled with a bit of confusion. "...What do you mean, maybe?" She was now determined to find out more about this war situation and everything else...She's been in the dark for way too long.
Scath : ``I don't even know..`` He sighed.. lowering himself yet again and sighed.. emerald hues came to a close and he whined softly.
Benten : Looking him over a moment with concern she wondered what would happen now..."Well..Do you want to be alone to think for awhile? Maybe get some sleep or something..? 'Cause...I could go if you want me to, just tell me." She was unsure of what to do...
Scath : He shook his head lightly, ``It wouldn't matter..`` He said softly.. tail flicked slightly against the cool floor.
Benten : What is this? She stayed with him awhile, which was very much out of Benten's character. She was a bit happy with this..she was finally starting to grow. She sat nearby him, and stared up at the sky wondering how long this would last..
Scath : Yes, he sighed, he coudlnt' really do anything else.. Slowly, he turned to his side and looked at her for a moment, ``Thanks`` Was all that he mumbled.
Benten : Oh, this was nothing, she sighed, telling him, not out loud but in her mind. She now felt that she owed him something, just for befriending her. She wasn't about to let this one get away from her. Glancing down at him, a soft smile unseen curled over her maw and she turned up again toward the now darkened night sky and let out a long dragging howl, singing to the night...
Scath : He watched her for a moment.. quizzical.. and slowly.. lifted his own face towards the starless skies.. echoing her soprano like tone with the baritone that he was. Howls mixed upon the evening.. he smirked.
Benten : Ah, this was the highlight of her evening. It was so relaxing...slowly she became more and more engrossed in the song and her eyes shut, forgetting all about her surroundings letting the the cool night air that brushed her fur, soothe her...
Scath : Voice trickled in between her notes.. infiltrating the melody so calmly.. so perefectly.. effortlessly. Harmony sprung from each chord dripped forward into the sea of song they both filled into the night's calm and daft air.
_______________________________________________
end log -- out of character
_______________________________________________
Sleepi Spike: [ @.@; whoo, that was fun....i seem to have lost all ability to think now so...can we call it quits now? lol ]
Hypnotic Crave: []sure sure []
Sleepi Spike: [ hehe, yahoo, talk to ya laters then..::wavewave:: ]
Hypnotic Crave: []adios![]
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| [ Please forgive me ] |
[20 Jun 2003|10:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
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music |
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Eminem :: Quitter |
] |
Yeah. I know I post like a million fuckin' times a day. Sorry. ...
Anyway. I'm listening to songs that used to make me smile back in the day. Marshall Mathers LP is still my favorite Eminem album to date. I love every single song on it. So goopy doopy. I just post shit like this 'cause I need something to occupy my mind....DUDE. Nobody still wants to talk to me. ; ; ufo trash. ufo trash. ufo trash. IM ME.
Who Knew ; Eminem
{“I never knew I…” x 9)
Mic check one-two
Who woulda knew?
Who woulda known?
Who the fuck woulda thought?
Motherfucker comes out…sells a couple million records
And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling
I don't do black music, I don't do white music
I make fight music, for high school kids
I put lives at risk when I drive like this ‹screech›
I put wives at risk with a knife like this ‹scream›
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of ya truck, with duct tape stretched out ‹rip›
Ducked the fuck way down, waitin' to straight jump out
Put it over your mouth and grab you by the face, what now? (mm!)
Oh, you want me to watch my mouth? How?
Take my fuckin' eyeballs out and turn 'em around? (look!)
I'll burn your fuckin' house down, circle around
And hit the hydrant so you can't put your burnin' furniture out (oh my god! oh my god!)
‹over a radio› I'm sorry there must be a mix up ‹static›—you want me to fix up
Lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked? ([Ken] eww!)
Fuck that! Take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryin' to censor music, this is for your kids' amusement (the kids!)
But don't blame me when little Eric jumps offa the terrace
You shoulda been watchin' him—apparently you ain't parents
[ Chorus ] x 2
Cause I never knew I—knew I would get this big
I never knew I—knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrists
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
So who's bringin' the guns in this country? (hm?)
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week I seen this Schwarzenegger movie
Where he's shootin' all sorts of these motherfuckers wit a Uzi
I see these three little kids up in the front row
Screamin' “go!” with their 17-year-old uncle
I'm like “Guidance? Ain't they got the same moms and dads
Who got mad when I asked if they liked violence?”
And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear
What about the make-up you allow your 12-year-old daughter to wear? (hm?)
So tell me that your son don't know any cuss words
When his bus driver's screamin' at him, fuckin' him up worse
(Go sit the fuck down you little fuckin' prick!)
And “fuck” was the first word I ever learned
Up in the third grade, flippin' the gym teacher the bird (look!)
So read up 'bout how I used to get beat up
Peed on, be on free lunch, and change school every 3 months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like (what?)
Fucked up, after I beat her fuckin' as every night, IKE
So how much easier would life be if nineteen
Million motherfuckers grew to be just like me?
[ Chorus ] x 2
I never knew I, knew I'd…have a new house or a new car
A couple years ago I was more poorer then you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shoobedy-doo-wop (what?!)
Skippedy-bee-bop a-Christopher-Reeves
Sunny Bono, skis, horses, and hittin' some trees (heeyyy!)
How many retards'll listen to me
And run up in the school shootin' when their pissed at a teach-
-Er? Her, him, is it you, is it them?
“Wasn't me! Slim Shady said to do it again!”
Damn! How much damage can you do wit a pen?
Man I'm as fucked up as you woulda been
If you woulda been in my shoes; who woulda thought
Slim Shady would be somethin' that you woulda bought
That woulda made you get a gun and shoot at a cop?
I just said it...I ain't know if you would do it or not
[ Chorus ] x 2
How the FUCK was I s'posed to know?
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| DAMN! |
[15 Apr 2003|07:25pm] |
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I'm not sure if everyone has gotten this yet : this journal has become friends only due to some scary stalker person who's driven me over the edge. ... ...*cough*
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| anger. |
[16 Mar 2003|10:54pm] |
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mood |
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ARGH. |
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music |
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I HATE YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE |
] |
okay. im fine with saying this now.
i. totally. completely. utterly. hate him.
i never want to hear from his stupid ass face ever again.
i don't want to have to put up with his SMART ASS comments.
i don't want to listen to his MORONIC assumptions of me.
i don't want to hear from that ASSHOLE about how i'm ruining my life and how i'm going to suffer.
i don't want to hear that he is glad that my relationship has turned me "soft."
i don't want to hear his insults of the girl that i LOVE.
why the FUCK do i even let him get to me so badly?
why the HELL do i care that he laughs at me and calls me stupid whenever i try to ignore him?
why in GODS NAME do i care that he thinks i'm being immature?!
FUCK YOU DANIEl. FUCK YOU. GET OUT OF MY LIFE, JUST FUCKING LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE.
fajiikoibi: y'know. Ignoring a person doesn't make your problem with them go away. heh.
fajiikoibi: or maybe your eyes are filled with tears 'cause your first true love cannot be! ::sobs with her::
fajiikoibi: oh... woe... the pain.. the pain is filling the void!
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU.
ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU FUCKING PROUD OF YOURSELF??! BECAUSE YOU WIN. I'M IGNORING YOU. YOU'RE BLOCKED. AND I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK. FUCK YOU. FUCK. FUCK FUCK!!!!!!
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| tank |
[09 Feb 2003|12:01am] |
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mood |
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loopy |
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music |
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the flaming lips : fight test |
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i thought my livejournal was starting to look anorexic.
mal. nu. tri. ti. on.
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| oh ho ho, i am utterly amused |
[29 Nov 2002|06:40pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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music |
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Grandia II ::A Deus - Kami he no Chousen MIX |
] |
FAIRY TALE  nce upon a time there has a young TAXIDERMIST named JANE. He was SLOWLY FUCKING in the MARSHMALLOW forest when he met SMOOTH AN' DIRTY ROCKY, a run-away ROCK STAR from the EMASCULATED Queen BIG BERTHA.
JANE could see that SMOOTH AN' DIRTY ROCKY was hungry so he reached into his FISH SCALE COVERED BOX and give him his SPARKLING SUSHI. SMOOTH AN' DIRTY ROCKY was thankful for JANE's SUSHI, so he told JANE a very PINK story about Queen BIG BERTHA's daughter ROWDY RONDA. How her mother, the EMASCULATED Queen BIG BERTHA, kept her locked away in a DMV protected by a gigantic BUSHBABY, because ROWDY RONDA was so TRAGIC. JANE ROSE. He vowed to SMOOTH AN' DIRTY ROCKY the ROCK STAR that he would save the TRAGIC ROWDY RONDA. He would SUCK the BUSHBABY, and take ROWDY RONDA far away from her eveil mother, the EMASCULATED Queen BIG BERTHA, and CRANK her. Then, all of the sudden, there was a FLIUD BOWEL MOVEMENT and SMOOTH AN' DIRTY ROCKY the ROCK STAR began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic BUSHBABY from his story. EMASCULATED Queen BIG BERTHA FLEW out from behind a WAX PAPER TREE and struck JANE dead. In the far off DMV you could hear a MOO. THE END. Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com
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| sinkhole |
[12 Nov 2002|08:53pm] |
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mood |
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skankwhore |
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music |
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arai akino :: kirei na kanjou |
] |
i'm sitting here playing with a dead man's(higrandpa) harmonica. It's got a big dent in it. it provides neverending hours of amusement.
give me money. because i'm needy. just a dollar or two. TWO is the sugested retail price. if not. read about houdini. because writing character profiles is time consuming ...unless people actually go to read it. god damnit
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| come right out |
[31 Oct 2002|10:20pm] |
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mood |
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shitshitshitty. |
] |
not like...im left out. i leave myself out. or something.
i wish for once someone could think of me as a close friend when i think of them that way. i completely admire and adore and fawwnnn....all over you people and its like.."oh i love you you and you." notice...they say you. but not michelle. because michelle isnt important. eh. fuck this.
broken record am i.
WHY DO I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER? ...jesus.
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| im restless. |
[26 Oct 2002|12:30am] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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groundmerapememaimandkill.fucker. |
] |
i havent looked at livejournal, xanga, or deviantart that much until today. bleh. i am behind on a lot of things. and it makes me look bad, and that i'm following the crowd just because i agree with something someone said. it is such garbage.
i haven't written in my xanga either because i have nothing important to say. and people have stopped commenting...sort of. except like....gloria, diona, and galen.
so i went to diona's halloween dance at her school. we aren't really dance type people so we sat around and i watched her play in a rolly chair. and JP stole my costume. which was a piece of paper that I wrote "COSTUME" on. Diona put it inbetween his legs. There was an arrow pointing up on it..so it seemed like it was pointing to his crotch. His crotch was his costume. Har har. It was quite amusing. I sort of wanted to go to my own school dance too. Just because my friends were there and friends are nice sometimes. Sometimes. Heh..That's probably why they are my friends I guess. And...after the dance we walked from Ramon's house to mines and Diona's 'cause his dad couldn't take us. It was at 10...and us little minors aren't allowed on the streets after 10. LOUSY COPS. YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME. ::runs for it...!:: Eh. No. I wouldn't run. I'm lazy. Diona. I loveses you.
It's 12:35 AM.....maybe at 1 I will go outside and sit in the backyard. It's cold out there. I'm sick. But. I'm really bored and feel like running in circles. And then I'll go back inside and mope and be sad and cry and then go to sleep. Mmmm....I'm going to get some Pepsi.
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| skimmy |
[21 Oct 2002|09:33pm] |
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music |
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modest mouse :: teeth like god's shoeshine |
] |
i am conversing with jackette right now. it is a very pleasant experience. :)
not for the faint of heart : moo.
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| scare me away. |
[18 Oct 2002|09:06pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
] |
HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!?
Who am I kidding. I knew this was going to happen. I should have known. I made enough jokes about it.
I'm sorry, I never meant it. I love my friends. I love them to death. And I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want YOU to go. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. I must be dreaming. Fuck fuck fuck.
My highschool is closing people, yes. I am school-less next year. Hmmm... Yup. We are short of 1.5 million dollars. This is my last year. With everyone I hated/loved. ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR. You know, I didn't cry when I graduated from St. Ed's. It was like. Screw you guys, bye. That was with people I spent 9 years of my life with. Barely 2 years and...I'm torn up inside. How can they do this to us? You lying pieces of shit. You KNEW. YOU KNEW THAT there was no way that you could make up all that fucking money.....I mean really. You knew there was no fucking hope for us.
I know its early. I know we have all year left to make the best of it. But I really don't feel like thinking straight right now. It's like...WHAT. THE. HELL. were they thinking at all!? I don't know. I just don't think it will be normal anymore. Just today people were freaking out over where they will go. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I'm going to miss Jessica, Allison, Gloria, Mad, Yesy...everyone. I just fail to see where I am supposed to feel hope right now. I just can't begin to understand any of this.
Happy Birthday to you, Michelle. I'm so sorry.
That's all I heard ALL FUCKING DAY. GOD. Damn.
Yes.
Happy Birthday to me.
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[17 Oct 2002|11:08am] |
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mood |
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numb |
] |
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music |
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click click click crash click click click crack click.. |
] |
this is so much easier when nobody cares about you.
much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much ...easier.
i almost caved in, and i should have since there is no one to stop me. attention whore = michelle. sha la la la la la la la la
god, i'm starving..
':U
...what the fuck?
|
|
| you cant hide you stupid bitch |
[11 Oct 2002|10:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
alicia keys :: why do i feel so sad? |
] |
well. isn't my face red?
hey lookit me, i'm alive and crap.
durr...dont look too disappointed now.
anyway, ive never felt worse.
i havent cried this hard in years.
and...........jesus
i havent cried at all in the longest time.
and everyday people just dig my hole
a little deeper and i just go
and crawl in it without saying a word.
allison, i love you,
i will never have a friend like you
and i dont want jessica or yesenia
to try and ruin this.
and....thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou to everyone...but i really want to be alone right now...i dont think i can stand to be around people for a long time...
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|
|
[08 Oct 2002|08:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 embarrassed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
bohemian raphsody :: queen |
] |
if i'm not back again this time tomorrow
carry on, carry on...as if nothing really matters.
too late... my time has come
sends shivers down my spine
body's aching all the time
goodbye everybody - I've got to go...
gotta leave you all behind and face the truth...
mama, ooo
I don't want to die............
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.
mm. i think i'll go now. don't worry though. none of this was ever your fault. i just can't....... ..... i'm not hungry, you guys.
don't worry about not replying anymore...since this will all be gone. :)
**edit**
a couple minutes of deleting and i'm tired. screw this...it'll all just rot here then.
|
|
| ; set sail, asshole. |
[29 Sep 2002|08:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pessimistic |
] |
Spike [8:36 PM]: O.o...::shoots self ::
Glo [8:37 PM]: ::Brings her back to life:: T-T
Spike [8:37 PM]: ::didnt say she was dead::
Glo [8:38 PM]: I'm God, You jerk...I say you died. Is that clear?!
Spike [8:38 PM]: :/ ::gets her to watch Popeye cartoons together::
Spike [8:38 PM]: :D God loves Popeye because people make up God.
Spike [8:38 PM]: and I am people, and I say so.
Glo [8:39 PM]: Damn you and your smartness.....
Glo [8:39 PM]: ::Watches:: - -;
Ohyes. I win.
|
|
| Glo____eye [8:52 PM]: Jerk. |
[28 Sep 2002|08:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
Hum...I gave that up two years ago.
Because I didn't want to hurt Daniel anymore.
Also.
I think my parents were catching on.
But...I just started to notice.
So many people talking
about it.
It gets me thinking
about it all over again.
Also.
Without doing it...
I sit there, with nothing
to do.
I still feel like I need to do it.
Everyday.
Two years ago.
I gave up a lifestyle
I miss it.
But then I don't.
And keeping promises.
Are very important.
Even if it means going completely
insane.
Jessica has that poem.
That I wrote.
And she had to name her Xanga.
Razorblade.
She didn't mean to do it
but it adds to the need.
I CAN'T TAKE IT.
But I won't do it anymore.
Because...
I...
promised.
Damn.
|
|
|
[28 Sep 2002|01:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
sometimes i try too hard.
sometimes i dont try enough.
i dont know when its right.
i always do something wrong.
why do i even bother to check my e-mail...
there never is anything there.
i probably should have left by now.
but i let myself care.
and that, my friends, is why
i am a big poop headed idiot.
theres no one for me to talk to.
and the people i want to talk to
are never around
or i dont know what to say
i dont know how to function around you
i dont know how to function.
period.
reiteration.
i keep thinking.
i should leave.
make it like i never existed.
but what would be the point?
it already seems that way...
people are such silly little things
and they care not to think about stuff
that would make their little brains
hurt.
i'm tired.
but i can't sleep.
i dont know
what
to do with myself.
i think i'll lie in bed
and listen to my mp3s.
over and over and
over
again.
|
|
| i'll cut you |
[18 Sep 2002|10:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irritated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dedede ; oll |
] |
my dad is throwing a fit right now because the scissors are missing.
he won't take my little Fiskar scissors.
and apparently i'm the one who lost the big scissors.
i'm so unorganized.
if anything gets lost, remember, it's MY FAULT.
Cough. Yeah. And that HighPriestess person is commented on three of my friend's pages, and is being a big annoying bitch.
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